„That which you seek – seeks you. “ *
In the last couple of months of the so-called ‘’my life’’ the power of these words resurfaces continuously. I first met Adam last November during an event organised by a friend that I attended with openness and curiosity.
I spent a whole Sunday with him and 30 or so other people. That which Adam IS cannot be conveyed by words. His eyes radiate such pure Love – so much so that when he rested his gaze upon my own eyes I felt how my focus began to blur and I was losing the ground beneath my feet. Contrary to what the ‘’sound mind’’ might suggest, that experience did not happen to unsettle me at all. Holding this looking for a minute or so, after shaking off the initial discomfort I sensed, I am rather certain I experienced the following:
I ‘’fell into’’ something which felt so naturally familiar to me and which filled my being with divine peace and love. The sensation was gently confirming, ‘’I am Home’’. I felt and am continuing to intensely feel that simply ‘’I am, I exist’’ without any doubt. That ‘I’ is not the very ‘I’ that we so readily identify with and to which we tend to attach different labels or qualifications such as ‘’I am a woman’’, ‘’I am a man’’ or ‘’I am Bulgarian’’, ‘’I am a Christian’’ and so on. I returned to the ‘I’ I had forgotten. I returned Home. What usually tends to happen when you are home is that all worries fall off, all fears, all projections, all expectations, all intruding thoughts simply vanish. The mind disappeared. And along with it disappeared all the questions that I was prepared to ask. The whole day I felt total bliss, peace and calm. Only That which was aware of its own existence remained. The pure awareness that recognises its own true reality. I experienced the wholeness of the words – all is well just as it Is and not the way I may imagine it should be. Long after this meeting – weeks, maybe months (who counts them?) – that feeling has retained its power and it is still with me. Maybe it has faded slightly but in its depth it is still the same – boundless, panoramic and all-pervading.
A few words about Adam, the way I saw and felt him:
He carries unconditional love – of the kind we all seek – which accepts you just as you are. With no expectations. This feeling was shared by all who came into contact with him. In the day we spent together there was a bit of everything – tears of relief and joy, pure, unforced laughter (or as you may come across it, Divine madness; there was just so much love in that space.
A few facts:
Born in England, Adam currently lives is San Francisco. PhD in Philosophy, he has a number of years of experience as a university professor. Since the age of 33, Adam has devoted his life to spiritual unfolding. In 2010 Adam began facilitating numerous group and individual consultations and seminars in the US and Europe, together with online one-on-one sessions.
This April will mark Adam’s third visit to Bulgaria. Together with friends, we thought it would be a great opportunity to organise a multiple-day retreat for full and complete mergence in That, which Is. At this event we expect to see people who long to dismantle the burden of the ego and the limited mind and merge with the pure awareness that they always-already are. We settled the dates for his travel and put together an event. For just about a week it was fully booked.
If you are reading this and something in you recognises the truth – you still have the opportunity to join one of the build-up evening talks with Adam in Sofia. Soon we will have more on that here.
All events with Adam organised in Bulgaria are open to everyone per donation only. A friend, who prefers to remain anonymous, takes care of all expenses linked to Adam’s travel and stay and we all are eternally grateful to him for his gesture.
Adam holds no promises to anyone. He offers no magic pill or panacea for all ills. Centred in the heart, his approach is attentive and direct. In fact, his presence and silence speak for him. He simply extends an invitation to us all to fall open together into that which is, here and now. With no expectations, no resistance and no fears.
„We are invited to receive the ultimate gift,
for which there is no substitute,
worth infinitely more than all our dreams and fantasies.
We accept this gift by simply falling open.
When the heart and mind fall open
we find ourselves intimately present
and completely available to what is here.
Our struggle with reality dissolves into harmony.“**
My guest gives many interviews for different media and websites – primarily on video. I am very much grateful to him for accepting to answer the few questions below for all friends of luchanaslife.
Who is Adam beyond the name and the form?
What a delightful, unanswerable question! What is it that looks with wonder and amusement at the mystery of this? Something is here, but it defies all attempts at description. Adam is not any of the words I might say, images I might imagine, or things I might point to. Like all of us, I am always beyond even evocative words like “awareness,” “consciousness,” or “divinity.” Even beyond “I am” or “nothingness.” In truth, there is no identity open enough for me to land on.
How did a Ph.D. of political philosophy come to the understanding that what the eyes see and the senses perceive is not the Absolute Reality?
Of course the “understanding” that we are really interested in, is not the type that we can acquire through the use of philosophy. Any philosophical understanding is still at a distance from reality itself. It is trying to fit reality inside an understanding that is too small to contain it. Intimacy with reality is what happens when we are simply here, innocent, and open, holding no philosophical perspective.
For me, twenty years ago, psychedelic drugs gave me the initial glimpses of this understanding, which was so much deeper and truer than even my most sophisticated philosophies. These glimpses inspired my turn from philosophy toward spiritual exploration.
What is a non-dual teacher? Did you ever think you’d become one? How did this happen?
A non-dual teacher is someone who is directly sharing the ultimate reality, not just philosophies or practices. With a non-dual teacher, the invitation is to deeply tune into reality together, rather than learn a set of beliefs or adopt a set of practices. I have always loved sharing whatever I am exploring. This was true even when I was exploring philosophy. So when I turned toward spiritual explorations, I shared these with anyone who had similar interests. Around the time that my mind finally gave up trying to figure out the truth, I also discovered that I could powerfully share this with many of my friends using non-dual inquiries I learned from Peter Fenner. I fell in love with sharing these inquiries, so with Peter’s encouragement and support I started a group in the small town I was living in at the time. I then started to receive invitations to facilitate groups elsewhere, and gradually, to my delight, this sharing of non-duality effortlessly took over my life.
What is the meaning of “Absolute Reality”? Can it be understood by the mind? How do we live this?
Reality is in a sense prior to meaning. It is here before our interpretations, and always has more dimensions and depth than any of our perspectives can capture. So whatever the mind grasps is never the whole of reality. Whatever images or symbols are appearing in the mind never equate to reality. We are already always living in reality, so this is never a problem, even when we are temporarily treating the mind’s ideas and images as if they were the whole truth about reality.
Soon you will visit Bulgaria for the third time? What keeps bringing you here?
I’m so filled with joy at the prospect of the upcoming gatherings in Bulgaria, especially the retreat. I’ve fallen in love with the communities I’ve met there, and I’m so inspired by the opportunity we have to explore deeply together. There’s nothing I love more.
What kind of people attend your events? What is this invitation to “Fall Open Together”?
Falling open is really an abiding invitation for us all. We’re being invited to be intimate with the whole truth of what’s here as it is revealing itself in each moment. There is no experience that we need to deny, get rid of, or make wrong. And there is no experience that we need to chase, grasp after, or try to hold in place. We are so welcome to open to it all as it is. And at my events we can do this together, supporting each other as we lovingly explore whatever dimensions of life are revealing themselves. We are each portals into a universe of experience. And whenever we enter shared consciousness together, new universes of experience and possibility become available.
You are speaking about acceptance of what is as it is. Is it true that it is only then that we can really find genuine peace and everlasting happiness?
We can only ever rest in effortlessness when we are willing to be in the truth as it is. Whenever we are trying to deny or avoid what is here, we are involved in a futile struggle against reality. Any part of the truth that we push away becomes a problem for us, and prevents us from enjoying the simplicity of openness. When we are trying not to acknowledge part of what is actually happening, this requires continuous work, a continuous drain on our energy. When we allow ourselves to be see and feel whatever is here, we can finally relax and the whole of our life energy can flow freely.
How do you live your life? Do you even have a private life when you facilitate so many gatherings, in both the USA and Europe?
I don’t really think in terms of private life versus work. I am just giving myself to the movement of love and aliveness and letting it take me wherever it does. “My life” seems to take care of itself this way. It can be surprising to retrospectively look back at some of the curious shapes and patterns that emerge (like wow, I was traveling almost half the time last Fall), but there is no effort to create such patterns or maintain them.
Is it necessary for each individual to realize their true Self? And what happens after that?
There is nothing we must realize, because the truth of what we are is always here regardless of whatever we are imagining ourselves to be. Imagined selves can be functional, they can even be fun, but ultimately we are always suffering whenever we cling to an image of self and resist the whole truth of what we are, which is always beyond any image or identity – even the image of “realized.” It is such a relief to let go of having to validate any identity of self, and to realize that we get to rest in the whole truth and mystery of what we are. And we don’t need to know what happens next. We can allow life to live us, rather than imagining that we need to be struggling to run our lives.
Is there sorrow, anger, and suffering in the what is or are they just mental sensations? Are those feelings also in what is?
Nothing is what we think it is. So it is often helpful to question whatever we believe about what’s happening. But it is also helpful to realize that nothing we are experiencing is “wrong” or “not what we should be experiencing.” When we believe that it is possible for us to have the “wrong” experience or an “unawakened experience,” we will be distrustful of ourselves and reality. We are always invited to really be intimate with whatever experiences are arising, without having to worry about whether they should or shouldn’t be here. Whenever experiences arise that we find challenging, we get to be gentle, open, and curious, allowing them to unfold however they want to.
Can we say that everything that is happening to us, that we perceive and are being conscious of, is there just to prove that we actually exist?
Ah yes! Why are we experiencing all this? What is the point or purpose of all these forms? My sense is that any answer we give to such a question is far too small to capture the intelligence of the universe. As we admire this magnificent and remarkably mysterious unfolding, we might offer insights that help reveal dimensions of its beauty, but it would be completely false to suggest that the “purpose” of all this can be captured in any phrase or philosophy. We are invited to participate fully in this great unfolding with ongoing curiosity and wonder, not needing to hold any answer to the question of “why.” It’s like the question “why should I participate in love?” The experience is self-validating. It doesn’t need any justification.
And as a conclusion – one sentence to reach everybody who seeks the meaning of life and the truth for themselves?
Please trust your experience, trust your love, and let’s open to and explore the whole truth together.
ps. Special thanks to Kalina and Konstantin, who helpled me so much with translation.
pps. More info about Adam and all upcoming events in Europe and USA you can find here